“You will still have desire,” she assured me, “but you will never carry pups.”
On our first night together, I told Dylan how much I loved dogs and how much I wanted our own children.
We were entangled in sheets, his fingers tracing patterns on my exposed skin.
“I want at least three,” I admitted. “A big family to fill our home with laughter.”
He had smiled tenderly and held me close as he confessed that he had wanted to start a family with me but was afraid I wouldn’t want to.
“I can already picture them,” he had stated. “Strong like you. Stubborn like you. Beautiful like you.”
The memory of his warmth now seems like a cruel joke.
Fate had different plans. I struggled with fertility issues. I was unable to conceive for four years after our mating ceremony, despite our best efforts and remedies.
The guilt consumed me. Dylan would hold me when I cried in the middle of the night, insisting that children were unimportant and that only my happiness and presence in his life were important.
“We are enough,” he whispered into my hair. “You are enough for me.”
His tone was casual and unconcerned, but I could still sense his disappointment. In truth, he wanted puppies even more than I did.
I noticed it in the way his gaze lingered on families in the crowd, and how he would pick up tiny clothes when we passed stores catering to new parents.
After years of perseverance, we were finally successful. I got pregnant with our first puppy in June.
When I realised this, I took three different tests to be sure. It’s all positive.
When I found out I was pregnant, my world exploded with joy like a full moon rising. I could hardly contain my excitement.
I rushed into Dylan’s office, unannounced, to tell him the news.
“Dylan,” I exclaimed, my eyes welling up with joy. “It worked. We’re going to have a pup!”
His face froze for such a brief moment that I thought I was imagining it. Then he smiled, but not with his eyes.
“That’s… wonderful news,” he exclaimed, rising to embrace me.
But his reaction was not what I had expected. Instead of matching my excitement, he appeared almost… sorrowful? “Aren’t you happy?” I enquired, pulling back to examine his expression.
“Of course,” he replied quickly. “Just surprised. We’ve tried for so long…”
I didn’t understand then. I assumed the pack business was bothering him. Now I know the truth: he feared my child would jeopardise Mabel’s son’s position as heir.
He already has a son. He was grooming a secret heir to lead the pack. My puppy would have made things more complicated.
Next came the miscarriage. Our long-awaited puppy was suddenly gone.
I awoke with cramps and blood-soaked sheets. Dylan rushed me to the healing den, but it was too late.
“I’m sorry,” the healer had stated. “There was nothing we could do.”
During that time, I frequently cried until I passed out from exhaustion. Dylan, however, appeared relieved.
