I remember showing him a picture of a diamond ring in a magazine and asking him what he thought of it.
Actually, I just wanted to know how he felt about marriage.
He then just looked at it and pushed it away, saying, “So ugly.”
At that time, I couldn’t have been more upset.
I really wanted to marry him, and I had dreamed about our wedding many times. Today, he is proposing to me, but I am not excited at all. My hopes for him are gone.
“Lillian, will you be my wife?”Sam looked at me with a lot of love.
“I won’t,” I say every word with no emotion.
Sam doesn’t seem surprised, as if he knew this would happen.
He makes a sad smile and seems to cry, “Is it your birthday?”
I don’t get what he meant by “What?”
He continues, “I didn’t come on your birthday. The next morning, you didn’t make me breakfast, text me, or call me when I was out with friends. You stopped asking me where I was, what I was doing, and when I would go home. When Eleanor got closer to me, you weren’t angry anymore. You’ve changed since your birthday.”
I shake my head and say, “It’s not just because of that. I’ve been disappointed every day, and it all came out on my birthday. The truth is, there has been something wrong with our relationship for a while now.”
“I know I’ve messed up a lot and you should be mad at me. Lillian, I’m begging you to give me another chance. I’ll change until I’m the perfect boyfriend for you and you want to marry me.”
Sam chokes up and says, “Every day, I will make you breakfast, take you to work and then pick you up after work. I will never let another woman sit next to me in my car. If you like eating prawns, I will take care of the peeling. Let’s travel together on holidays. I promise I will never forget your birthday or miss an anniversary.”
I blink my eyes and look at him without saying anything.
He gets more nervous. “I know I didn’t handle my relationship with Eleanor well. I promise I won’t see her again. I’ll delete all of her contact information and social media.”
I sighed weakly and said, “You see, you know what your mistakes are. As my boyfriend, you know what you shouldn’t do, but you did it anyway. When I ask you about it, what do you say? You looked like you hated me and I disgusted you. It’s all because you don’t care about me. You think I love you, so you never think about my feelings. You don’t respect me because you think that no matter what you do to me, I won’t leave you. Is that what you thought?”
Sam kept saying, “I’m sorry, Lillian.”
“If love fades, the best thing for us to do is break up.”
“No, that’s not it! I still love you, Lillian! I love you all the time!”
“I’m sorry then. I didn’t feel any love from you. I have only felt your coldness, neglect, and pain. I believe Eleanor is the woman you really love. You give her everything she wants, you go to her when she needs you, and you give her most of your softness. She is the one you love!”I say.
